Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Spitting image

It's a funny thing to me.... boys are much better spitters than girls and I don't know why. It doesn't seem like this one skills is where the line is drawn between the sexes. 

I was basically a tom-boy as a child so you'd maybe think that spitting would come more naturally to me but it never has. So it comes as no surprise that my cancer has metastasized to my lungs.... causing me to cough and cough up a lot of ... well, yuck!

I guess it'd be better if I could spit with the confidence and accuracy of a major leaguer but sadly I cannot. It's a special little extra torture for me personally that while walking down the sidewalk or up to the office doors I'll stop and have a coughing fit that requires me to spit.

If I could do that tongue and throat thing guys do, focus in the back of the throat make the lugee, sit it on your tongue just right and expell the offending content with force and expediency.

Unfortunately, that's just not me.... instead I am this pathetic wretching, crouched over old lady with long drips of spittle hanging off my bottom lip refusing to let go, instead attaching to my chin or forcing me to use my finger to detach the spit with a series of tongue and lip mini spits, like when you have a hair in your mouth.

No there is no dignity in cancer, and we all get to suffer our own special little indignities..... spitting just happens to be one of mine.